My Heart Is Under Control (r)

This fragile crystal container, 
I hold inside my chest, 
so easy to see through, that I
conceal it with feigned emotions.
Simple feigned smiles. 

Look into my eyes, glimpse 
my soul, full of hopes and dreams,
anticipating life's enrichment.
This container seeks fulfillment, 
but there is little to fulfill.  Heart

breaks, tumbles through this cavity,
tearing apart my gut stuff
shredding any sense of self.
Death, as an option, is rejected.
My mind must control my heart.

The heart would destroy the body, 
and allow faith to seek spiritual release  
from this world, where pain and fear
constantly lurk.  With prayer, the mind 
will mend the broken heart.


-dp-

-written and read at the Maple Leaf Bar, New Orleans, LA  -4-3-83
4-3-83 / 10-18-12- severely reworked     

4-3-83r

This fragile crystal container 
I hold deep within my chest.  
So transparent I conceal it
with disguise of feigned emotions-
a smile that's not there.  Look

beyond my eyes and glimpse
a soul of hopes and dreams, 
awaiting fulfillment.  Sought completeness, 
and found nothing.  Heart shatters- 
breaks into a million pieces,

tumbles from my empty breast,
cuts and shreds my gut stuff, and
rips through all sense of identity.
Death crosses the mind, but is rejected.
If not for the mind in control

the heart would destroy the body
and allow the soul's lost faith
release- set free from this world
where heartbreak lurks within grasp.
The mind knows better- denies

the heart rule where love is
poised for conflict.  Love only tears
into heart muscle.  Soul must wait
for natural release.  The mind grasps
that time mends the broken heart.

-dp-

-written and read at the Maple Leaf Bar, New Orleans, LA  -4-3-83